I know this is a late day post, so I apologize for the tardiness of the Ted Haggard documentary down below, but I’m sure HBO will run it again.

Also, as I was walking outside for a little coffee break at work, I noticed tons of people leaving to go home (it’s close to 6pm now) and I just thought to myself, “Man, they have it great. I’ll be stuck at work until 8:30 (again)”. Seeing those folks made me so mad I just wanted to punch them in their smug little 6 o’clock faces. Oh, life is so great for them, they get to have some free time, YEAH! And you know what, I know that’s wrong for me to think that way. I should be happy for them…but, I’m not. I’m jealous. Ok, onto the Musings.

- The Trials of Ted Haggard will be premiering tonight on HBO at 8pm. I will definitely be checking this one out…HBO usually does a bang-up job on their documentaries.

- Speaking HBO documentaries, the Battle For Tobacco Road: Duke vs. Carolina will premiere on Feb. 23rd at 9pm. Yes, I’m excited about this. And if you don’t know, it will be about the greatest basketball rivalry known to man.

- You’ve probably heard already, but Miller High Life will be airing one second commercials during the Superbowl. I think it’s a pretty cool idea.

- Parenthood. I love that movie. With the kid named “Cool”, and Keanu Reeves talking about the virtues of masterbating, and Steve Martin at his ultimate prime in the 80s. And now we have a TV series based on the movie to ruin everything. I really could have gone the rest of my life without this show.

RN

John was kind enough to add a few links to today’s musings so a big thanks to that guy.

- CC, a friend of the show tries to show us his dominance over hot dogs. Paul Newman would be proud.

- What’s that? Face, BA, Murdock, Hannibal? You are coming back? This was only a matter of time…I’m actually surprised they didn’t make this movie sooner. I would like to see what kind of changes they’ll make to the A-Team van…hopefully, they will just trick out a Toyota Previa.

- Mike White (from Chuck & Buck and School of Rock) will be in the newest season of The Amazing Race with his Dad. Of all the reality shows on, this is the one that I would want to be on. Oh, with the exception of Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew. I can dance like no other, I just don’t have a crew yet. But I will…you just wait.

- Don’t you dare mess with John Landis when it comes to money. John Landis is suing Michael Jackson and his company for failing to pay him profits over the last four years from the “Thriller” video he did with him in 1983. I’m guessing Jackson really needed the money…just a guess. Since Michael is hurting for money, he’s more than welcome to join my sweet new dance crew called “Rhett and the Dancing Maniacs.”

- For some reason this link wasn’t working on my computer but John said it’s funny and he’s never let me down. Check this funny Star Wars clip here.

RN

So the Super Bowl is fast approaching and most importantly, we are getting a new batch of Super Bowl commercials. It’s probably going to be the most exciting thing going this Sunday since the match-up between the Cardinals and Steelers isn’t all that enticing.

I must say that the last few years of Super Bowl commercials have really been disappointing. Sure, there are a few that were good but most of them have been craptastic. So, I came up with some ingredients as to what makes a good commercial.

1. Old People. Old people are always funny. You put an old person on TV and I’m pretty much sold. If old people try to act young in the commercial, you can pretty much guarantee a hit commercial…just have these old farts throw down some hip slang terms and the laughs will come. I promise. For good measure, I’ve added an example.

2. Fatties – That’s right, if you want your commercial to be a successful one, it always helps when you cast some portly people, and 99% of the time, some portly men. For some reason, fatties have a great feel for comedic timing, I’m not sure why that is…but at the same time, they bring a trusting and comforting quality to the table. I was going to add another commercial from Nate Torrence (from an earlier post) but that would be too easy. So, I’ve added some portly football players who are just as funny.

3. Kids – now this is tricky, because sometimes, if you add kids into the commercials, it turns out really lame because they try to be too cute and it turns into some sort of Hallmark commercial. But, if you have kids acting like adults, well then, you have something. And if these kids just so happened to be a little on the chunky side, well then, you have hit gold, pure comedic gold.

4. Violence – Who knew violence could be so damn funny in commercials? If it’s a kick in the nards, or an old lady tackling a young man, or well, Terry Tate taking down some folks, it’s always pretty entertaining.

What’s not funny? Animals. With monkeys usually being the exception to the rule. Those damn Budweiser commercials with the horses kicking footballs? Just awful. Awful. Horse farting? Dumb. Dancing geckos with Naomi Campbell? Uh, I’m still not sure what the hell that was all about. Anyway, let’s hope this year’s Super Bowl commercials has a lot of old people, fat kids acting like adults, some violence and of course some fatties.

One more…sorry, I had to add this one because it’s awesome. I didn’t realize you could bleep out swear words in commercials.

RN

This is it. The moment you’ve all been waiting for. For that matter, it’s the event Hollywood and the entire world has been waiting for. It’s awards season, but you can forget the Oscars. Screw the Golden Globes. Amateur hour. The real awards of the year have arrived in the glorious form of the first annual Coasties. That’s right, this year John and Rhett hand out awards to all that was great in pop culture over the last year, and let you listen in on the decision making process. Awards and diplomacy in action. It doesn’t get any better than this. Unless you’re eating a sandwich while listening. That would be better.

Download: Podcast - The Coasties

Elbow V2 & Fiction Records

This Manchester-area band has been rocking England since 1990 and managed to keep the same line up the entire time even though their band name changed three times. After settling on Elbow in 1997 and overcoming label buyouts and distribution issues, they released their first album, Asleep in the Back, in 2001 which garnered a coveted Mercury Music Prize nomination. Although they didn’t win, they would have their revenge in 2008 when they won the Mercury Prize for their fourth album The Seldom Seen Kid. You may recognize the track below from the Burn After Reading trailer, or you may not. Whatever. Listen to it now and no one will know the difference.

I’m thinking of a movie. You try to guess it by leaving your guess in the comments section. If nobody gets it, I’ll give a hint and we’ll go from there. Good luck to everyone.

Guess the Movie. (as always, the picture above is a hint)

UPDATE - No correct answers yet. This was a very recent movie and it also featured a single from the soundtrack that got a lot of airplay on the radio. And yes, everyone had pretty good guesses, except for the “Batman” guess…that was just bad. Feel free to guess again!

UPDATE II - Jill…CONGRATS! You are the winner of this week’s Guess the Movie! Be sure to brag about yourself to all of your friends.

RN

Sifting through the archives, a lost episode of the 5-Minute Flash, was discovered! Sure, it’s from like 3 weeks ago, but this is a rare occurence indeed. Listen to the never-before heard Flash that was supposed to air before New Years Eve and instead fell by the wayside. Rhett and John discuss some of the finest movies that take place on New Years Eve, or at least feature the occasion as a pivotal scene. It’s like those “lost” Tupac recordings, only in 5 minutes and with less rapping…

Update: This is like the worst Flash ever. Lots of rambling, poor subject matter, interruptions by Kirkham, and Rhett going on about Bridget Jones’ Diary. Not our finest hour. Or five minutes.

Download: Flash - The Archives

- Underworld: Rise of the Lycans – Um, what? I didn’t realize this franchise was making enough money to warrant a third movie. I didn’t see the first two so I’m just gonna go with my gut and say this movie is for comic book nerds only. And even they won’t be too thrilled with it.

- The Dark Knight – They are re-releasing this movie for that Polish guy that I read about who came out of a coma after 15 years. He needs to see it on the big screen.

- Inkheart – Horrible title. Seriously. Oh, and you’ll never guess, Brendan Fraser stars in a blockbuster family action movie?? Get out of here!

- Killshot (Phoenix only) – another dumb title…they can’t come up with something better than that? Anyway, I don’t have a clue as to what this movie is about and I don’t really care. Thomas Jane, Diane Lane, and Mickey Rourke star in this movie that nobody will see.

- Outlander (limited release) – This movie is about Vikings. My friend Whit who for some strange reason claims some sort of Viking heritage (for what purpose, I’m not really sure) is the only person I know who is excited about this movie.

- Donkey Punch (LA/NY release) – This movie sounds a little disturbing.

RN

Sorry for the problems with the website today, it’s been acting up but hopefully, those problems are solved (Please note that we didn’t actually do anything to solve the problems. We figured these internet things would work themselves out.) Ok, enough nerd talk…let’s get to the musings.

- A Tom and Jerry movie? That’s right, Warner Bros. are in the planning stages of CG Tom and Jerry based in a live action setting. Like Garfield…we can only hope that Tom & Jerry live up to that critically acclaimed movie.

- Some cool street art, here and here.

- The United States of Tara got big ratings for Showtime. I was one of the 1.5 million who watched it on TV and I couldn’t really get into it. The whole premise is way too cheesy for me. Multiple personalities? Really? And they are all kooky, strange characters too?

- Am I the only one who didn’t think Slumdog Millionaire was the bees knees? Click here for all the Oscar nominations.

- Last but not least, a big thanks to Ray Parrish for our new header on the website. He did an amazing job for us…my only complaint is he somehow managed to make me look fat. Damn you Ray, you probably did that on purpose.

RN

I’m thinking of a movie. You guess the movie in the comment section. One guess for everyone. If nobody gets it, I’ll add another hint and everyone can guess again.
The above picture is a hint.
Alright, Guess the movie!

UPDATE - No, it ain’t Grumpy Old Men. And yes, that’s Howard Cosell. And that’s a huge hint.

UPDATE II - Jill, awesome story. I need to check that movie out, I’ve actually never seen it. Your Dad is the man. But this game is over, Don Poppa Cheechio - you are correct sir. Great Job my man, you guessed the movie.
RN